i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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