I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize