Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
