Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
