Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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