i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
