dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
