She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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