The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Enjoy the penises
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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