STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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