you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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