your thong is hanging out like whoa
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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