we have officially lost it.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
