you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
