its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
