on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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