oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
high people should be assigned attendants
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
third nipple confirmed
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
