I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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