Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
