I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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