Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
