Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize