I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
