We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
