if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize