I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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