Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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