we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
