you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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