so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
