Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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