Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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