Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
