I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
