He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
