Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
