she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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