Porn is love you can see.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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