Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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