The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
