I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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