Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
