During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
