I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
