i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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