I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
