it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
