You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
