stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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