They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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