hell yes lets make some ravioli
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
