finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
how do you play pong handcuffed?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
