"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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