I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
