look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
