He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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