wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think i peed on brittanys purse
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
