He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
