All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
