they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
