Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You can't just leave with hair like that
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
